Our Identity in Christ Part 2 My Identity Crisis

Introduction

The story you are about to read is true. It’s a personal story that I hesitate to share. When you read it, you’ll quickly see why. But my story is relevant to this series, and, frankly, it is part of my perspective. I think it is good for me to be transparent because it helps explain my passion, maybe even my bias, for knowing our identity in Christ.

My Identity Crisis

One Sunday morning, almost two decades ago, I was sitting in the balcony of the Willow Creek Community Church auditorium waiting for the service to begin. I was alone and feeling like a hypocrite being there. I did it again. I committed the same sin the previous night that I had many times before. I felt sick. I had a pattern of sinful behavior for which I routinely confessed and repented, but it didn’t seem to matter or help. I truly felt terrible and wanted to stop, but I didn’t. I was ready to give up. So, I did.

This particular morning, I didn’t confess anything; instead, I cried out (in my mind, although I wanted to scream out loud), “God help me, I don’t know what to do.” Within a few moments, something amazing happened; I heard a voice. I knew it was God’s voice, but if I ever expected to hear from God audibly, I never expected to hear this:

“Go buy a book.”

I thought His words were strange, “go buy a book?” but for some reason, I didn’t question Him. After a moment of shock, I left my seat and walked to our church bookstore, which happened to be on the same balcony. God didn’t say what book to buy, so the events following His command were as incredible to me as hearing His voice. I walked to the Christian Living section (no reason); I pulled a book off the shelf (again, no reason that I knew); it was the only book I touched, and I knew from the title and description it was the book He wanted me to buy! After the service, I went home and began reading. I sobbed as I read.

I was emotional because I was struck by how miraculously and kindly God met me in my crisis. That morning on the balcony, I was ready to give up my faith because I wasn’t being a good Christian, and I thought God must be so disappointed with me. Instead, my Father in heaven sent me a message of healing and hope. Instead of chastising me, He opened my eyes to how much He loved me and what He wanted for me.

I didn’t understand who I was. I was living in a paradigm of Christianity that kept me from the abundant life that Jesus came to bring me. I was trying to do what was right – trying to be a fully-devoted follower. I attended church regularly, tithed, gave to the poor, served, consistently read my Bible, and prayed. Why did I still have a pattern of sin in my life that felt impossible to shake? I was trying to do all the right things. As it turned out, that was part of the problem.

I was trying so hard not to be my old self, instead of living in the reality of my new birth and my new self. I had heard and believed that I was “not perfect, just forgiven.” I wasn’t supposed to sin, but I was bound to because I still had a sinful nature. I expected that I was always going to sin, but if I confessed, I would be forgiven, at least until the next sin. I didn’t truly understand that this perspective is antithetical to a new life in Christ.

The Apostle Paul asked the question: “shall we continue in sin?” It was not a rhetorical question. It is a question he asked the believers in Rome (Romans 6:1 &15). His answer was emphatic: “Certainly not!” More importantly, was his reason; Paul vehemently argues that it doesn’t make sense to sin anymore because that is not who we are. Through Christ, we are no longer slaves to sin but slaves to righteousness! We are the righteousness of God (2 Corinthians 5:21).

Please let me clarify; I am not saying that I don’t sin anymore, or that the Christian life is free of sin. This post is not a treatise on sin. I plan to discuss more about sin and our behavior in future posts. What I hope to express is how learning about my identity in Christ was instrumental in giving me a new perspective on my life. When I understood my identity, my self-image was changed, and that changed my behavior.

One of the things I learned was that, as a Christian, I no longer had a sinful nature. My nature, my new self, is righteous and holy. My old self, or sinful nature, died with Christ, and I was raised with Christ to new life (Romans 6). I also found that there is confusion about the terms “sinful nature” and “flesh.”

Some translations use the words “sinful nature” for the Greek word sarx (σαρξ). Most Bibles translates sarx as flesh, or other related words, such as human, physical, body, etc. It can also mean the human way of operating apart from God. The translation of sarx as sinful nature can be confusing because it indicates that Christians have two natures. The truth is, we have only one nature in Christ. The Apostle Paul reminded the Corinthians, “Therefore from now on we recognize no one according to the flesh; even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, yet now we know Him in this way no longer. Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come (2 Corinthians 5:16-17, NASB®).”

So, the perspective of my new identity helped me take my focus off the flesh. I had been operating from the perspective that I was still sinful and needed to fight my sinfulness to be what I was supposed to be. I came to understand the opposite; I have a holy, righteous nature in Christ. My new nature is my only true identity. The flesh is not me, consequently, I am not obligated to live according to the flesh (Romans 8).

Before becoming a Christian, I could only live in the flesh; I was dead in spirit. When I was born again, I was born new in spirit by the Holy Spirit. As a new creation, I have a choice, I can walk by the Spirt, but I can also walk by the flesh. The point is this, the flesh opposes the spirit, and like the devil himself, it is an external foe to battle, not integral to my new self. This revelation was freeing!

I realized I was free to be me, to be a new creation. It took time for me to understand fully what my new life is all about, and I am still learning and growing. This is transformation. I am transformed by the renewing of my mind (Romans 12:1-2). I am not progressively made holy, that is not the transformation. I was sanctified, made holy, the instance of my new birth. Transformation is growing in my understanding of God, and what He has done in me, so I may live a new life.

The book God led me to was a catalyst for further exploration of the Scriptures. I started a journey to understand all that I had been missing. It is a journey I am still on today. It has taken years to explore this new reality, including discerning and unlearning much of what I had been taught. The posts discussing our identity in Christ are a result of study and prayer.

I’m at the end of this story, and you may be thinking: “What book did God tell you to buy?” Well, I’m sorry, but I’m not going to tell you. Please let me explain. When God first led me to this book, I thought everyone needed to read it. I gave it to a few trusted friends and found that it did not have the same effect for them as it did for me. I realized that this book was for me. Not everyone has the same struggles that I have; although, there is evidence that some do.

God may have a different book for someone, or He may meet their needs in another way. One thing I am sure about is that when you cry out to God, He will respond, maybe not audibly and perhaps not to a book. Nevertheless, He will always speak to you through His book, the Bible. Read prayerfully, with an open mind and heart, and the Holy Spirit will guide you into all truth. That said, if someone resonates with my struggle, please email me at the Contact page of the website, and I will gladly respond.

I believe that the church needs to understand our identity in Christ. I have seen the Christian identity crisis manifest in different ways. There is misguided teaching, inaccurate use of the Bible, and lack of abundant living. There have been significant crises in the church, which I believe stem from the root of misunderstanding who we are. I hope you will continue to read the upcoming posts to explore all God has for us.

My next post will continue to discuss our new identity to explore further some of the Bible passages often used to support the idea that we are still sinners or have a sinful nature as Christians.